Month: March 2015

Why You Really Should Pick and Choose Your Battles Wisely

Posted on by chatswithcrys

By Crystal Lambert

Sometimes It’s just not worth it. The arguments, the irritation, the annoyance, the negative energy—but how do you know when you should just leave it alone? Every day you are faced with many decisions. Often times those decisions include deciding if a negative situation is worth your time. Wether it be with your significant other, family, co-workers , or friends— there are certain situations where you should simply take the “high road.”

Okay, so lets say you and your partner argue over something as simple as one person “having an attitude.” Instead of going back and forth, it may just be best to let it go and save yourself from the yelling and fussing. Unless the attitude is occurring everyday, you would be consciously saving yourself from a potential headache. Besides, you never know what may have happened earlier in your partners day to cause the attitude— it could have been completely unintentional. There is no better feeling than knowing that you did something wrong but your s/o was totally calm and trying to avoid any conflict with you— especially when it’s over something really petty. If you do happen to find yourself being the “Debbie Downer”, be sure to go back and apologize, let them know they were super amazing for handling the crabby patty attitude in such a great manner. Effort goes a long way.

The same idea applies to family, having a mother born and raised in another country affected how she handled certain situations with me. I remember getting my first taste of heartbreak, and my mom caught me crying in my room. Instead of consoling me and telling me everything would be okay, She yelled at me for crying. Foreign moms will not hesitate to tell you how they feel, especially when you are gaining weight. Trust me they will notice before you do. I used to get so defensive when my mom would tell me these things. As I became older I started to realize that she is who she is and isn’t about to stop telling me how things are — straight up. So I learned to accept her comments and just know that whatever she says is coming from a good place.

When it comes to co-workers and friends you will occasionally come across that one person who tries to out-do you or bring you down. Whether it’s intentional or not you have to decide how close of a friend or co-worker they are to you. Then you can decide if it’s worth confronting them about it, or if it’s just better to let it go and carry on. Debating or arguing with people who aren’t that significant in your life is a complete waste of energy and time.

Within my personal experience I’ve noticed that 9 times out of 10, it’s better to just take the high road. I fully understand that it can be difficult in the heat of the moment, and you want to let that other person know exactly how you feel. My advice is to take a breather—walk away, or into another room if you can and see if the situation still bothers you after you’ve cooled off. If you are still bothered, you can try talking to them about it once you are calm and collected. Life is so much easier when everyone is getting along, and once you start to consciously practice avoiding negative situations, you start living in peace. It’s not easy and it definitely takes effort, but in the long run you will be super proud of yourself.

Good Ol’ Comfort Zones

Posted on by chatswithcrys

By Crystal Lambert

Unless you have an outgoing, extroverted type personality, who the hell really feels like stepping out of their comfort zone? I’d rather just sip my coffee, and keep imagining all the things I wish I were cool enough to do, then proceed to tell myself that I’ll do it one of these days—just not today. 

Does that sound like any of you? If not, I envy you. See, I believe that I am half introvert half extrovert. I’m pretty sure I was born a complete introvert, but thanks to my dad, he pushed me out of that— for the most part. I remember being around 4 years old, and my parents would take me to the mall playground to interact with other kids. I loved that little playground, I just didn’t like making new friends. I was way too shy. So there I am left in the middle of this exhilarating, yet terrifying plastic jungle. Back then it was like the Yucatan to me, full of logs, mushrooms, and other forestry things, all I wanted to do was walk, and perhaps sit down and swing my tiny legs on the frogs tongue— and for all of the other kids to leave me the hell alone. When I was done I would walk happily back to my parents. Then came the much dreaded, yet anticipated question from my father, “Did you have fun? How many friends did you make?.” Crap. “Yes, and umm… like… well… none.” Sure enough he’d send me right back to the playground to go introduce myself to someone and ask if they’d like to play.

As much as I hated introducing myself to make friends, I’m glad I was forced to do it. Throughout the years, I slowly but surely broke out of my shyness. With that said, you’d think I’d be able to go out and do anything I wanted to do with no problem.

It took me 3 years to start blogging. I knew I always enjoyed writing, I would write short stories at home and worked super hard on my essays for English. Then one day I decided to create a blog. This is going to be great! I wrote a few entries but told no one about them. I had way to many insecurities. What if my writing isn’t good enough? I can’t spell that well, and I think I have grammar issues. What if people think what I write about is stupid? Forget this, I’m done. After much consideration and compliments from a few professors, I decided to try again.

So hello everyone, here I am, stepping out of my comfort zone, putting my thoughts out there for whoever cares to read. Did I get rid of those insecurities? No, not really, but at the end of the day this is what makes me happy. This is how I am able to relieve stress. This is what I have been doing for years, just privately. Why not share it with the world? Yes, there will be people who dislike my posts, but there will also be people who find what I have to say uplifting. If I can make just one person’s day better by sharing my thoughts, then I have done what I intended to do.

Moral of the story— step out of that comfort zone and go for it! You’ll never know what you’re capable of doing until you try.

Are You too Late?

Posted on by chatswithcrys

By Crystal Lambert

In today’s fast paced world, it’s easy to get ahead of yourself. With pressure from your parents, social media to compare yourself to others, and that pesky voice inside your head criticizing your every move; how do you slow down?

To be honest this is still something that I am trying to figure out myself. Day in and day out there are a million distractions that allow me to forget what I should be focusing on.

Let me further explain— Beyond what anybody says, I know that I am on my way to becoming something great. Great meaning I will be able to support myself financially, and wherever I end up— I will be content. I’m in school (for something that genuinely interests me), I have a job, I have a roof over my head, and goals. Sounds great right? Then why do I still question myself?

I’ve been in school part-time and I really should have been done by now. I wasted 6 years trying to pursue a nursing degree, only to turn around and switch majors. Great another year trying to pursue my A.A. I still live with my parents, (who live in a small condo and did everything they could to accommodate me so I can live for free). I use our small condo gym for free. Ugh, such a small variety of equipment. I’m so sick of that treadmill. And all of my followers on Instagram are just out and about doing amazing things with their lives. Yet here I am, little old me, still with my parents, and still trying to graduate, dandy. 

But wait— Within this long ride, I think, just maybe, I might be starting to truly discover myself. If I’ve learned anything— I know what I don’t want to do. I know for sure that nursing is not the best job for me. I know that I am blessed with an opportunity to not owe any student loans. I know that a gym is a gym, and at least I work out. I know that Instagram is Instagram, and whether or not those people are doing well for themselves or not, I am working on me, and I am doing well for myself now. Everybody treads at their own pace and this just happens to be mine.

People like to judge. That is just part of being a human being. After all, I can’t say that I am not guilty of judging others in my past. At the end of the day, you have to know that as long as you are doing what it takes to meet your goals, then you are on the right track. There is no “right” pace. What is important to me, is working towards something that I can honestly call my passion. Once I reach that point then I will be truly content. In the mean time, the distractions are simply just that— distractions. They may catch me off guard, but once I realize it’s a distraction, I pause, then remind myself that I am on my own time and will reach my goals at my own pace.

To each of you who can relate, just remember; as long as you are working towards your own goals, how fast you do it does not matter. Just get there.